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#1 "Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions." - Marion G. Harmon Report 478 points POST Love It! 42 View more comments #2 "Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down." Report


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The Best Brutal Insults. All you need is a high five. in the face Using a chair. It seems like your face caught fire and somebody attempted to stop it with a hammer. You're like the first slice of bread; everyone touches you yet nobody wants you. I don't hate you, however I'd give you a handshake if you were sinking.


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Skippy - an Australian Yank - an American Seppo - short rhyming slang for an American Sheep Shagger - a New Zealander Jesus Bars - those handles that you hang off that are placed above the doors of your car on the inside. Needed if you're in the car with one of the world's worst drivers


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1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room.".


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Twocanchew! I am not Virgin my life F**K me everyday. I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes. If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping! Why are bra singular and panties plural? Without nipples, boobs would be pointless. It's a dirty way to fight, but I'm late for lunch. I'm a freelance gynecologist.


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Below, Bored Panda has compiled a list of hilariously inappropriate and rude Christmas cards that only people with a twisted sense of humor will understand. From "All I Want For Christmas Is Money" to "My Wife Made Me Send This Card. Merry Christmas" - expect to see it all. Keep on scrolling to check out the funny puns and feel free to add your.


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"I don't want to be rude but, really, you have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk." — Nigel Farage on Herman van Rompuy "He's like a shiver waiting for a spine." — Paul Keating on John Hewson "He's a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off." — Lyndon B. Johnson on Gerald Ford


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RELATED: 101 Best Insults (And Quotes!) for Winning Any Argument. Good Roasts for All the Haters. carlesmiro/Shutterstock.. 127 Funny Puns You Can't Help But Smile At. Good Comebacks. Ground Picture/Shutterstock.. 95 Adult Dirty Jokes So Racy You'll Want to Cover Your Eyes. Funny Insults for Your Enemies.


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180 Best Insults to Destroy Your Enemies By January Nelson Updated May 30, 2023 Devon Divine Table of Contents The right comeback will make you come across as intelligent. It will remind your enemies not to mess with you. It will make you appear strong.


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Don't you tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Life is a bowl of soup, and I'm a fork. I finally found a machine at the gym that I like: the vending machine. If.


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Sarcastic Quotes. 1. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.". - Steven Wright. 2. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.". 3. "I am not young enough to know everything.".


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Like perfectly timed funny quotes, a sarcastic comment can put someone rude in their place or help you make a self-deprecating joke (think: tripping over your shoelace and saying "Smooth.


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Sarcastic Quotes. "Just keep talking, I yawn when I'm interested.". - Unknown. "The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.". - Erma Bombeck. "My neighbor's diary says that I have boundary issues.". - Unknown. "If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.".


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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming. One liner tags: animal, health, rude 94.94 % / 1626 votes. I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it. One liner tags: love, rude, work 94.32 % / 1702 votes.


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1. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life ." 3..


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101 Funny Insults. 1. The closest you'll come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle. UnSplash. 2. You look smarter in pictures. UnSplash. 3. Honestly, I'm just impressed you could read this.